“I Thought About Killing Myself, but a Part of Me Insisted on Getting Help”: Coping Experiences of Male Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence

Despite evidence of male victimization in intimate relationships, Canada, like many other countries, lacks institutional support for men who experience abuse. As a result, male survivors may feel compelled to cope with IPV on their own. This study examined the coping strategies male victims use to prevent or minimize violence and mitigate the effects of abuse already perpetrated. A mixed-method design was employed to explore coping strategies among Canadian men who have experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). Quantitative data on help-seeking strategies used by male and female victims of IPV were drawn from the 2014 Canadian General Social Survey on Victimization, followed by a qualitative analysis of interviews with 16 male survivors. Male IPV victims in Canada were significantly less likely than female victims to seek formal or informal support while in abusive relationships. Qualitative findings suggested this reluctance was driven by avoidant coping strategies, such as denial of abuse and withdrawal (Theme 1), as well as escaping abuse through work and productivity (Theme 2). Less prevalent but noteworthy themes included attempts to help abusive partners and save the relationships (Theme 3) and the pursuit of well-being after the abusive relationship ended (Theme 4). This study highlights male victims’ reliance on avoidant coping strategies while in abusive relationships, which can hinder effective responses to abuse. It underscores the importance of developing gender-inclusive support systems for all victims of partner abuse and calls for reshaping societal perceptions of masculinity to create a judgment-free environment where male victims feel empowered to seek help.