The Long-Term Stability of Affective Bonds After Romantic Separation: Do Attachments Simply Fade Away?

What happens to attachment bonds when relationships end? One common assumption is that such bonds partly endure, such that former partners continue to fulfill attachment-related needs partially. Another perspective holds that former attachment bonds are relinquished such that there is eventually no residual tie. The present study ( N = 320) adjudicates between these alternatives. Results indicate that, for the average person, attachment bonds are gradually (4.18 years as a mid-point) relinquished after relationship termination: People’s former partners simply become someone they used to know. Results also indicate that the persistence of these bonds is moderated by several factors, including attachment orientations and continued contact with exes. Thus, even if the typical person does eventually “get over” their former partner, for some people, remnants of those bonds continue and never fully fade away.